Thursday, May 08, 2008

"Devout" Catholics

Mark Shea writes at InsideCatholic:

... Therefore, Mia Farrow is a "devout Catholic." Why? Because she's Catholic. James Carroll, who has made an entire career of bashing the Church as the author of the Holocaust and demanding she recant her most fundamental beliefs about Christ? He's a "devout Catholic," too. Andy Warhol? Devout, because he went to Mass each week. Garry Wills? Devout, despite his tireless complaining about the Church's failure to convert and agree with him and God. Nancy Pelosi? Devout and fanatically pro-abortion. Kevin Smith? Devout and casually blasphemous. Jenna Jameson? How could a porn star not be devout? Even Hitler and Himmler were devout.

Similarly, if you are a politician whose devotion to the sacrament of abortion is so extreme that you cannot even muster the gumption to oppose sticking scissors in a newborn's brain, all you need do is have yourself photographed wearing ashes and follow it up with stern blaring about the Primacy of Conscience. Say something like, "My oath privately between me and God was defined in the Catholic church by Pius XXIII and Pope Paul VI in the Vatican II." That way, you can equate doing whatever the hell you like with fidelity to the Tradition! You're devout!

If you are not Catholic, and you're trying to sell yourself to Catholics, simply describe as "devout" any supporter of yours who is a carbon-based life form with a pulse that shows up in church now and then because, well, that's the AP style manual term for "Catholics who have been to Mass sometime in the past couple of years who support abortion, gay marriage, and like to talk about being green."

[Read the whole thing]

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