Bill O'Reilly on the Election of Pope Benedict XVI

Cafeteria Catholic Bill O'Reilly, writing in Jewish World Review on the election of Pope Benedict XVI, apparently realizes that "the cafeteria is now closed":

Will new pope have an epiphany?
[So, Bill, what is it that is so manifest to you but that our new Holy Father needs to open his eyes to see?]

The elevation of Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger to head the Roman Catholic Church is a clear and concise message from the College of Cardinals: "We are royally teed off."
[Really? I somehow missed all that anger over the last few weeks.]

Everybody [all of us, huh?] knows that the new pontiff is a tough guy [I heard he was a cat lover - hardly the makings of the Terminator] who will not only throw the moneychangers out of the temple, he'll kick them in the behind as they leave the building [Oh yeah, because there were so many excommunications while he was the so-called "doctrinal enforcer" for John Paul II - in fact, there were a record low number of excommunications]. Pope Benedict believes strongly in good and evil, and he's not shy about pointing fingers [At whom?]. His letter to American bishops about politicians and abortion cost John Kerry dearly in the last election [His letter was ignored by the Bishops and by the vast majority of Catholics; by the time Cardinal McCarrick was finished misrepresenting its contents, it probably helped Kerry].

The cardinals, of course, perfectly understand that Benedict is not exactly a cuddly guy [That's not what they're saying, Bill. His fellow cardinals say Benedict is quite humble and personable, but I guess you can see through all of them for the liars they are and are "watching out for us" by pointing out the "truth"] and will not be "reaching out," as they say in California [Actually, every time he has spoken, including during his homily at his Installation Mass yesterday, Pope Benedict has said that his foremost concern will be "reaching out" to others]. But his hard-line theological approach [Hard-line theological approach? Oh, you must mean his adherence to the 2000-year-old teachings of the Catholic Church] appeals to church elders [Elders? Bill, as a Catholic, do you have any idea what the hell you're talking about? Or, as is most likely, are you just making it up as you go along?] who have had enough [Enough of what?].

In the past three decades, church attendance in the USA and Western Europe has dropped through the floor. Just 25 percent of American Catholics attend mass weekly [25%? I wish that many attended Mass on a weekly basis], and the number is in the single digits in longstanding Catholic countries like France [France hasn't been Catholic since the French Revolution, if not earlier]. Secularism now rules the western world, and there are not enough priests to serve the remaining faithful. How do you say things are not good in Latin [I'll figure that out after I've learned the Latin for "Bite me, Bill"]?

In the face of this spiritual decline, the Catholic Church has decided to make a stand [The Church has always taken a stand - a stand for Christ and the teachings of His Church. This is nothing new]. It will not compromise, and it will not pander. You either toe the line or hit the bricks [Who's made this threat? I'll believe it as soon as Ex Corde Ecclesiae is enforced at "Catholic" colleges and universities]. Up to you.

As a lifelong [cafeteria] Catholic, I don't like this approach, but I understand it [if your understanding is anything like the rest of what you think you know about your own Church, then you don't understand it]. The West is now besieged by forces that want to wipe spirituality completely out of the public square [Wow! I agree with something you said]. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) is the point organization in this effort [along with their political wing, commonly known as the Democrat Party]. It supports all abortion on demand, including late-term, no parental consent for minors having abortions, euthanasia with consent, gay marriage and the free speech rights of the North American Man-Boy Love Association, which has posted instructions on how to rape children on its website [Ohhh, now Jay, avoid temptation here to slam predatory priests and lax Bishops who allowed predation upon children to happen].

The ACLU [aka Democrat Party political action committee] opposes public funding for the Boy Scouts because their oath mentions G-d [Heavens, not that!], the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools [Can't have kids exposed to civic responsibility and love of country], public displays of the baby Jesus at Christmas [Why do images of babies tend to piss off so many people?] and any restraint on Internet pornography in public libraries [Denying kids the opportunity to see up close and in detail the results of Pamela Anderson's latest boob job is clearly a violation of the Founders' intent to create a marketplace of ideas].

For the most part, the western media sympathizes with the ACLU and promotes its point of view [Wow, Bill, I agree with you again!]. Thus, the secular message is a constant in our society — the hits just keep on coming.

And where is the opposing point of view? Well, there are a few media outlets that give traditionalists a fair shake, but very few.

So the Catholic cardinals feel isolated and surrounded [Surrounded by whom? Do you really think the cardinals who witnessed the public outpouring of support the Church has received over the last month feel "isolated"?]. They can preach to the choir on Sunday but get battered by the news and entertainment media the rest of the week. A strong papal voice [Uh, Bill, in case you missed his pontificate, we had a "strong papal voice" for the past quarter of a century in the person of John Paul II] countering that situation is soothing. And that's why Cardinal Ratzinger is now Pope Benedict XVI [Bill, I doubt you have any idea why his fellow cardinals elected Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger to be Pope Benedict XVI - the crap you've been spewing on your TV and radio programs about how the Church needs to conform itself to modern sensibilities proves that you have absolutely no clue].

I believe [in one God, ... oh wait, this is Bill O we're talking about] organized religion can be a champion of human rights and provide resistance to secular societies, which, if they progress much further, will never be able to defeat the fanatical Islamic fundamentalists [We agree again]. The more permissive the western world becomes, the more it rejects discipline and avoids confronting evil, the greater the danger to freedom will be [Ditto].

Pope Benedict is facing a rapidly changing world, and perhaps he will be a strong and persuasive shepherd against evil. The danger is that he will be so rigid [Ooooh, "rigid". There's that word again. Bill, I think what you really meant to say is "The danger is that he will be so Catholic ..."] that he will erode the spiritual core even further [HE will erode the spiritual core even further? By doing what? Teaching what the Church teaches? I assume the spiritual core won't erode any further if only Pope Benedict will water down the spiritual teachings of the Church to make them more palatable?] thereby helping the secularists [Yeah, that's why the secularists are squealing so loudly at Benedict's election - because he's going to "help" them].

But the new pope may have an epiphany [Yeah, Bill, I just don't see how he could have missed what is so apparent to you in your infinite wisdom] and realize good people will rally against evil if the case of clear and present danger is made rationally [As opposed to all that irrational religious mumbo-jumbo] and with compassion [As opposed to all the hate-filled bigotry emanating from the Church]. I am praying [The question is to whom, Bill? I get the impression that you consider yourself somewhat god-like] that happens. The other side [And I'm still a little unclear as to which side you're on, Bill] is hoping it will not.

It's frightening how much "lifelong Catholic" Bill O'Reilly thinks he knows about the Church, but how little of his "knowledge" is actually accurate. Don't listen to him.

For more accurate "Catholic commentary", listen to Laura Ingraham's radio program. Laura, a Catholic convert, at least has the humility to know what she doesn't know and will bring on orthodox Catholic experts like George Weigel or Father Robert Sirico [Bill O'Reilly is more likely to give a platform to the likes of dissenter Father Richard McBrien, MSM].